Tell her she can't have a vagina
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
