I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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