the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
