VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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