I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need moral support for this bender
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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