is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
