Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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