I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Randomize
