I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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