Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
