"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
