Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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