just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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