these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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