I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize