weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
