glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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