it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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