Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize