i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize