I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
