I hate your face
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
