So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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