I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
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It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
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Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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