She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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