You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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