try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
