Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize