If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
