It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize