There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
