I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"