we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
