Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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