And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
