All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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