So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
