I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize