I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
