if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Randomize
