awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
