I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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