we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
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Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
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Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
soo... how was my night?