i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
