I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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