i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
