How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize