I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
