Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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