Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
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who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
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okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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