he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
