that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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