she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
