Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
