pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
