his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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