OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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